Haircut

I got a haircut this weekend. The following conversations about it did not actually happen.

SOMEBODY: Hey, you got a haircut.
HAIRCUT BEN: Nope.
SOMEBODY: Really? I swear you got a haircut. Unless...oh wait, I thought you were someone else.
HAIRCUT BEN: No, I was joking. I did get a haircut.
SOMEBODY: Wait a second, you're that guy that stole my girlfriend!
HAIRCUT BEN: No, that wasn't me. I'm just the guy with a haircut.
SOMEBODY: Sorry, honest mistake. The guy who stole my girlfriend gets haircuts all the time.

SOMEBODY: Did you get a haircut?
HAIRCUT BEN: My hair has always been this short.
SOMEBODY: No, dude, it used to be like two inches longer than that.
HAIRCUT BEN: I'm serious. I've never had long hair. I'll show you my driver's license.
SOMEBDOY: Whatever, man, if you wanna be--
Haircut Ben slips on a banana peel and falls, breaking his neck, and exposing him to be an evil robot in disguise.
SOMEBODY: Oh. He was an evil robot.
REAL BEN: Hey guys.
SOMEBODY: Thank God you didn't get a haircut.
REAL BEN: Yep. Oh, looks like that evil robot got a haircut though.
SOMEBODY: Really? It said its hair was always that short.

SOMEBODY: Whoa.
HAIRCUT BEN: Whoa what?
SOMEBODY: You got a haircut.
HAIRCUT BEN: Actually, I traded my hair.
SOMEBODY: For what? A stupid face? laughs with his punk friends
HAIRCUT BEN: I traded it to a dragon, actually.
SOMEBODY: A dragon?
HAIRCUT BEN: Yeah. He wanted some hair, and I figured I'd could use a dragon to incinerate my enemies.
SOMEBODY: Why does a dragon want hair?
Dragon flies in and incinerates them all, including Haircut Ben

SOMEBODY: Why don't you get a haircut, hippie?
HAIRCUT BEN: I did.
SOMEBODY: Oh sorry, I was talking to that hippie over there.
HAIRCUT BEN: Oh, sorry about that. I'm just really excited about this haircut I just got.
SOMEBODY: And well you should be. That's gotta be the best haircut I've seen in ten years.
HAIRCUT BEN: Thank you.
SOMEBODY: No, thank YOU. You just made my day.