Democracy in Action

While this whole election thing has comlpetely burned me out on democracy in general, I'm not sure I can stand to make fun of it anymore. I can only take so much boring crap that I can't relate to before I start to think I'd be better off somewhere like Jupiter.

There are some non-incessantly-boring things still going on in this country, though. Like, the race for PRESIDENT OF MONKEYS.

It's Smooth Bob O'Chimpsalot vs. Clyde Pollock-Huckleberry. Let's take a look at their campaigns to this point.

Clyde Pollock-Huckleberry


On the Economy: "Look at my fancy suit! Bananas for everyone!"
On Healthcare: "Doctors are bad!"
On Education: "I have no idea how I learned to talk. Also, don't I need an MBA for this job?"

Smooth Bob O'Chimpsalot


One the Economy: "I'm the richest monkey who ever lived!"
On Healthcare: "One time I went to hospital when I broke my leg doing a stunt on a movie set. I'm in the movies!!"
On Education: "Who needs school when you're RICH?"


This is ABSOLUTELY RIVETING. Get off your lazy butts, CNN, and cover some real news for once!