Halloween Game Show

Well, it's Halloween for the fourth year in a row, which means that we should probably do something special here at my blog. I decided to sponsor a Halloween Game Show, something similar to that dating show with the three bachelors and the lady who gets to pick one of them to be her boyfriend. Except the three bachelors are Dracula, a zombie, and the Creature from the Black Lagoon. I call it "Hallo-win a Date with a Monster!"

GIRL: So, bachelor number 1.
DRACULA: Hiya.
GIRL: What's your idea of the perfect date?
DRACULA: Baby, anything with you would be the perfect date, as long as it ends with me sucking your blood and you joining my ever-growing army of the undead.
GIRL: Oh, um, I'm not really into politics.
DRACULA: Baby, the only politics I'm talking about is the politics of sucking your blood and getting you into my ever-growing army of the undead.
GIRL: Trying to talk me into bed, huh? I'm not that kind of girl. On to bachelor number 2.
ZOMBIE: Grrghh...
GIRL: Which do you look for more in a girl--brains or body?
ZOMBIE: BRAINS.
GIRL: Good answer. Are you just pretending to be sensitive, or is this the real you?
ZOMBIE: BRAINS!!
GIRL: Then on a date, how would you let me know that you're into my brains?
DRACULA: Because he's going to eat them!
GIRL: You had your chance, bachelor number 1.
ZOMBIE: Grrhmmm...brains.
GIRL: OK, let's see what bachelor number 3 has to offer.
CREATURE: I'm gonna make bachelor number 2 look like that fat guy from those Austin Powers movies.
GIRL: You sound pretty confident.
CREATURE: Believe me, if you could see these other contestants, you'd be confident too.
DRACULA: You're a fish-person! At least we're wearing clothes!
GIRL: Hmm...already down to the birthday suit, huh bachelor number 3?
CREATURE: You'll have to find out for yourself, honey.
GIRL: (blushing a little) OK, so your question. If we got married, where would we spend our honeymoon?
CREATURE: Probably Jamaica, cuz you're Ja-makin' me crazy!
DRACULA: BOOOOO!!
ZOMBIE: (getting up, staggering around) BRAINS!
GIRL: Whoa, calm down fellas.
CREATURE: Just because I've fallen in love with you and plan to drag you back to Amazonian lagoon doesn't mean I can't make bad puns.
ZOMBIE: Muuurrhh! BRAINS!!
GIRL: Bachelor number 2, I'm yours!
Zombie proceeds to eat girl's brains, she joins his army of the undead instead of Dracula's, which frustrates Dracula SO MUCH, and the Creature, realizing that there are no options left to him, leaves to star in a remake of his original film with Bill Paxton.