Rivers and Streams

Today's commute to and from work is far too jammed and tedious. According to a recent survey, the average American owns 2.5 cars and drives all of them to work every day, thus filling our streets and highways with several unmanned vehicles. I have tried to convince some American drivers to take only one car to work, but to no avail.

In lieu of a more reasonable solution, then, I suggest we take row boats to work!


The rivers and streams that fill our modern metropolises are currently wide open for the row boat commuter. Sure, they may not take you directly to your destination, but the benefits of taking a row boat to work (being in a row boat, rowing your own boat, no pollution) cancel out the fact that you may never arrive at work.

And rowboats are cheap! You could probably make your own out of aluminum foil and balsa wood for less than $20! Or, for those of you who are used to the luxury vehicles, you could purchase your own pre-made rowboat for what is probably a totally reasonable price.

If you ever see me driving to work again, please yell at me for my failure to take a row boat. And I will yell back something to the effect of, "You're right! Thank you, model citizen," or "How come you're not taking a row boat to work?"