6.04.2009

Inside an Apple, or, My Descent into Madness

Scene: the inside of an apple, which has been hollowed out somehow. Apparently people live there, as two neighbors meet to discuss something.

NEIGHBOR #1: So you just moved in to the apple, huh?
NEIGHBOR #2: Into the what?
NEIGHBOR #1: The apple.
NEIGHBOR #2: This is an apple? I thought we just bought a new house.
NEIGHBOR #1: You did, but your house is inside an apple.
NEIGHBOR #2: How did that happen?
NEIGHBOR #1: How did what happen?
NEIGHBOR #2: How did our new house get inside of an apple?
NEIGHBOR #1: It's always been inside of an apple.
NEIGHBOR #2: But--
NEIGHBOR #1: Oh look, it's the Apple King!
APPLE KING: Hello, how are you on this fine apple day?
NEIGHBOR #2: Hey, I just--
NEIGHBOR #1: We're doing excellent, O wonderful Apple King!
APPLE KING: You haven't seen my baseball card collection, have you?
NEIGHBOR #1: No, I'm afraid we haven't, my king. You lost it again?
APPLE KING: Yes, yes, it always seems to get away from me. Hopefully that dastardly Duke of Pineapple hasn't already gotten his greedy mitts on it.
NEIGHBOR #1: If the Duke shows his face around here, I'll be sure to sock him one for you, your majesty.
APPLE KING: Thank you, loyal serf. I'll remember you the next time there's an opening on the Board of Juicification.
NEIGHBOR #1: Oh king! That's always been my dream!
APPLE KING: Then let us dance the dance of apples!
They dance.
NEIGHBOR #2: Maybe living inside an apple won't be that bad after all.
NEIGHBOR #2'S WIFE: Honey, did you know that our house is inside an apple?
NEIGHBOR #2: I know, Mildred. I know.