The End of the Universe

Two people are walking down the street as though the universe were not going to end anytime soon.

PERSON A: Doesn't it suck to get stuck in traffic?
PERSON B: You bet it does! Especially when it's snowing.
PERSON A: Good point. Weather is the other thing that I like to talk about.
PERSON B: I'm glad we're friends. We have so much in common.
OMINOUS VOICE FROM ABOVE: Attention people of the universe. The universe will be ending in approximately five minutes. You have five minutes to prepare for the end of the universe.
PERSON B: Did you hear that?
PERSON A: Yeah. It was pretty loud.
PERSON B: Huh. So does that mean the universe is ending?
PERSON A: I guess so.
PERSON B: Alas. I am filled with regret.
PERSON A: There's still time to live! The voice said we have five minutes.
PERSON B: But everything I would want to do is at least ten minutes from here.
PERSON A: Oh. Well, would you like to tell me what you regret?
PERSON B: I wish I had collected more box turtles.
PERSON A: Oh yeah, me too.
PERSON B: You can't regret the same thing I regret!
PERSON A: Can too!
PERSON B: If our time wasn't so short, perhaps I could appreciate our mutual love for turtles much as I appreciate our mutual desire to talk about traffic and weather.
PERSON A: Oh, the turtles we could have enjoyed together.
PERSON B: Do you think they'll have turtles after the end of the universe?
PERSON A: Yes I do.
OMINOUS VOICE FROM ABOVE: No they don't.
PERSON A: Dang.
OMINOUS VOICE FROM ABOVE: Got you guys! It's just me! Your friend Steve!
PERSON B: Oh, thank you, Steve! You've helped us discover our mutual love for turtles!
PERSON A: I'm sorry, I actually wasn't being serious about the turtle thing.