Free parking. I love it. It's perhaps the greatest institution known to modern man. Nuts to hospitals or public education, neither of which really benefit society that much anyway. It's all about the free parking.
And that was going to be all I planned on saying on the subject, until I read a little about a book called The High Cost of Free Parking by some UCLA professor who's an expert on urban planning and development. According to this degree-holding lunatic, "free parking is the root problem of many of the ills that face our biggest cities. He posits that reforming parking policy will lead to a better pedestrian environment, cleaner streets and air, safer downtown shopping districts, and - yes - even less headaches for drivers trying to find that ever elusive curb space."
Excuse me? Free parking is the root problem of nothing, except perhaps the decline in availability of free parking spaces. Let me give you a few statistics of my own, Mister Smart-Guy UCLA Professor.
:> While a pay-to-park society would likely force more people to take advantage of public transportation, where would all the buses park? It may be of interest to note that buses fill up to twenty times as much parking space as the common car.
:> Contrary to what the author seems to suggest, charging for parking would not make cars disappear from America's roads.
:> Free parking has been shown to be good for foreign policy, as visitors to our country find us welcoming and generous.
:> Charging for parking will dramatically increase the suicide rate, as certainly no one would want to live in such a world.
Free parking is the source of at least one-third of my happiness. If anyone starts to take that away from me, I am definitely moving to Estonia. Or Latvia. I don't really think there's a difference.
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