People stop me on the street all the time and ask me, "Which do you think is better, a dragon or a phoenix?" This has happened literally a dozen times, and I'm getting tired of having to punch these people in their faces and running away as fast as I can. So it's time to settle the matter once and for all. And since I'm lazy, I'm doing it in the convenient point/comparison format.
DRAGON: Breathes fire.
PHOENIX: Made of fire.
Advantage: phoenix
DRAGON: Extinct.
PHOENIX: Presumably extinct, but could rise from the ashes at any time. Probably when you're not looking.
Advantage: phoenix
DRAGON: Can't fly because it's too fat.
PHOENIX: Has no feet.
Advantage: dragon
DRAGON: Comes in a wide variety of personalities, from happy-go-lucky and stupid (a la Dragon Tales) to malevolent and sleepy (a la a bunch of other stuff).
PHOENIX: Never says a word, but is probably a huge jerk.
Advantage: dragon
DRAGON: Lives in caves and dungeons.
PHOENIX: Homeless.
Advantage: dragon
DRAGON: Not Japanese. Or wait, maybe somewhat Japanese.
PHOENIX: More likely Japaenese.
Advantage: phoenix
DRAGON: .301 batting average for the whole species.
PHOENIX: Morally superior to baseball.
Advantage: dragon
DRAGON: No Nobel Prizes.
PHOENIX: Won Nobel Prize for Economics.
Advantage: dragon
Actually, next time somebody asks me this question, I'm gonna throw a pie in their face instead of punching them. Now I just need to figure out how I'm gonna carry a bunch of pies around with me.
2 comments:
Not that it looks like you really care or anything, but I'm hot and know Wolverine. So I think my team wins.
-Jean Grae
P.S. The rumors are true - Cyclops is a gigantic douche.
In a bag or briefcase.
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