Numerous Syllables

The best names have two syllables.

I discovered this as I pondered over the names of some characters in my newest writing adventure. One-syllable names are OK, two-syllable names are ideal in every situation, and three-syllable names are utter disasters.

For instance, there is a female character who I have tentatively named "Lindsay." Unfortunately, despite the fact that this name has the perfect number of syllables, it doesn't work. I can't think of any real monosyllabic girl names. Only Ann, and I know too many Anns in real life. I considered changing her name to "Gloria," but who in their right mind would pronounce all three of those syllables? And you can't shorten that name. Glor?

Same goes for the rest of creation.
Kevin? Good. Roger? It's got an upside. Jasper? Solid gold. Bud, Pete, George? I threw up a little in my mouth just thinking of those. Or how about Sylvester, Julio, and Frankenstein? I'm imagining people who are horribly deformed and have speech impediments.

Yet somehow Ricardo Montalban is one of the greatest names mankind has ever known.