The Giant Brain Timeline

THE TIMELINE OF GIANT BRAIN ACTIVITY

Prehistory - Giant floating brains rule and oppress ancient cavemen. Man rises up, overthrows the giant brains and banishes them to outer space. This legendary battle is detailed in many ancient cave paintings.

1000 B.C. - Giant brains make their first appearance on earth since their exile. They play a practical joke in Egypt, convincing the people that their gods were funny-looking monsters.

300s B.C. - Alexander the Great unearths the dried husk of a giant brain during his conquest of Asia Minor. He tries to wear the brain as a helmet and dies shortly afterward.

31 B.C. - Roman principate founded. Giant brain becomes first Roman Emperor.

476-1330 A.D. - Dark Ages. Giant brains completely withdraw from Earth and Earth-related events to backpack across galaxy. Human science eschews intelligent developments.

1503 A.D. - Giant brain refuses to paint Mona Lisa.

July 11, 1798 - Angry mob of giant brains storms the Bastille and burn it to the ground. Giant brains later deny involvement, claiming France does not exist.

October 8-10, 1871 - Fire in Chicago destroys much of the city. No giant brains are harmed.

August 1948 - Giant brains invade Australia and are repulsed. They retreat to Antarctica and establish a colony. Many giant brains freeze to death. President Truman calls brains "stupid."

October 1, 1957 - The Brain from Planet Arous, the first film about giant brains, opens to rave reviews. Brain segregation intensifies.

1989-2001 - Giant brains approach extinction as Baywatch premiers and grows in popularity.

2001-present - Giant brains protected as endangered species, populations mostly clustered in wildlife preserves in Kenya.