What Would Ricardo Montalban Do?

Dear Ricardo,
I didn't have time to rake my leaves this year, and it's already started snowing! Is there anything I can do to avoid a soggy mess come springtime?
Sincerely,
Peter Rutherford, St. Louis, MO

Dear Peter,
Your lawn is doomed, I'm afraid. I suggest you have your midget take care of the problem.
Cheers,
Ricardo Montalban

Dear Ricardo,
I love toast.
Johnny

Dear Johnny,
Toast is quite delicious. Just so you know, my career is more than just Fantasy Island and Wrath of Khan. I've guest-starred in several other television shows. Enjoy your toast.
Cheers,
Ricardo Montalban

Dear Ricardo,
My army of genetically-engineered clones just escaped from my lab. How do I stop them? And please hurry.
Dr. Jeffries

Dear Dr. Jeffries,
If you may recall, my role in Wrath of Khan was one of the escaped genetically-engineerd warriors. Therefore, my experience is more suited to evading capture and exacting revenge than to putting an end to their rampage. I apologize for the confusion.
Cheers,
Ricardo Montalban

Dear Ricardo,
You've got Genesis, but you don't have me. You were going to kill me. What's up?
Yours, Admiral James T. Kirk.

Dear Admiral Kirk,
I've done far worse than kill you, Admiral. I've hurt you. And I wish to go on hurting you. I shall leave you as you left me, as you left her: marooned for all eternity in the center of a dead planet, buried alive.
Cheers,
Ricardo Montalban

Dear Ricardo,
KHAAAAAAAAAAAN!!! I mean, MONTALBAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!
Yours, Admiral James T. Kirk.

Dear Admiral Kirk,
Sinister laughter.
Cheers,
Ricardo Montalban