Television writers went on strike today, dooming all of us TV-watching idiots to an indefinite state of confusion and panic. Most of our shows will make it another couple weeks or so, but then come the reruns, and soon after, chaos. As a culture, we Americans can only take so much recycled entertainment programming before we resort to looting and cannibalism, I assume.
The first shows to go will be late nite comedy. We'll turn on Leno tonight only to discover the Judge Ito dancers, and once we realize that we have not traveled back in time 10-15 years, we'll immediately go bald or start shooting lasers from our ears. Get used to it, America, because without our beloved television writers, this is what we have to deal with. So be careful not to aim your ear lasers at your loved ones.
Of course there's Regis & Kelly, which has no writers, and According to Jim, which will somehow continue to be produced without writing, to keep our brains occupied. Then again, this will most likely make matters worse.
Edward R. Murrow told us television would destroy society. I think he might be surprised to find out that it's actually the lack of television that will be our downfall. If he wasn't a communist, I think he'd laugh a little.
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