Science Part II: The Revenge

Science and I have this thing. Most people don't understand our relationship, and that's OK. If there's one thing I've learned from this vain life, it's that you'll never understand science. Especially not his cruel sense of humor.

It all started in 8th grade when we had a lesson on the weather in science class. I didn't know the answer, so my friend and I agreed to cheat off each other. Turns out Science took offense at that, so he killed my friend with a model of the solar system. What's worse, he tried to frame me for the murder. Lucky for me there were a bunch of witnesses who saw him do it. But I guess Science has diplomatic immunity for some reason and can't be prosecuted for anything in the United States.

Of course, I had to get him back. The next winter, I went to his house on a really cold night and sprayed the house with a hose for about 6 hours. It was so worth it. The whole thing got covered in ice, and it was so thick he could barely open his door. I heard later that the structure was permanently damaged and he could never heat his house properly after that. I guess he was just renting that place, but whatever.

There was a long series of pranks over the next few years, but after the death toll reached somewhere around 20, we realized that we had let our egos get out of control. It wasn't about the irony anymore. It was about the sheer thrill of breaking the law and not getting caught. We made a truce, he moved to Morocco, and we figured that would be that.

So imagine my surprise when I get out to my car this morning and find that the water bottle I left in there overnight was now completely frozen. That's the hand of science if I've ever seen it. Not to mention that my car was upside down, it said "SCIENCE RULZ" on my car door, and there were a half dozen dead bodies in my trunk. As much as I hated taking the bus today and almost getting peed on while I waited for it, that's a great prank.