Until this morning, I was never afraid of squirrels. Well, maybe mildly afraid of them, but only if they were surrounding me and trying to bite me. I could still probably outrun them if I needed to.
But this morning brought on new waves of fear. I was out for a walk, and in my neighborhood the morning squirrels tend to outnumber the outdoor people 30 to 1, and one of these squirrels happened to dart out of a hole in a cinderblock and into a tree. Except I totally thought it was leaping at my face.
I was getting paranoid about the squirrels before that happened. What with chasing each other out of bushes and around trees, I was sure they'd eventually turn on me. If it wasn't for that build-up of the nerves, I probably wouldn't have screamed, but I guess that's no excuse.
If I had a flamethrower, you better believe that there would be a lot of burning squirrels on my block. And there would also probably be a lot of exploded cars. And actually maybe not that many burning squirrels. I wouldn't be able to bring myself to incinerate something so cute. But I would still blow up all those cars.
1 comment:
It's a good thing you weren't at our house for dinner last night. Seemed like every time we looked out the window, there were more squirrels in our back yard...I had a feeling they were plotting something...
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