Happy Bastille Day!

Ah, there's no day as cherished as July the 14th, the day the French finally shook of the shackles of aristocratic tyranny and...um...put on the shackles of middle class idealistic tyranny and daily executions? That doesn't seem like that great of a celebration.

Actually, French history is pretty much nothing but smattering of blood. You've got the violent riot of Bastille Day, then you've got the Reign of Terror, and then there's the Napoleonic era, which is of course characterized by war and death. There were probably a few years of moderate peace between those things, but overall I don't think the French Revolution is anything to be happy about. I mean, sure, equality, fraternity, and that one other thing, but I assume those things would have been just as good without the guillotine. But I'm not French; I can't say for sure.

Peach vs. Nectarine, Parts 2 & 3

Part 2.

I bought a few nectarines last week. I went a long time without eating them, and they got a little soft, so I thought I'd have to throw them away. But then I had one and WOW. It's probably the best thing I've eaten in years. I can't describe the volume of flavor. Just incredible. So nectarine wins. Granted, I didn't have any peaches, but I'm pretty sure the point is moot now.

Part 3.

Today I went to eat my last nectarine, and it was moldy. Somehow the nectarine leaked. So that kind of ruins my taste for nectarines.

Fickle is such a stupid word.

Bald Eagle, Meet Your Match

For centuries, Americans have debated what should be our nation's mascot. Mostly we rely on our national bird, the bald eagle, but as our nation changes with the times, so must our nation's symbol change. We need an image that we can present to the rest of the world that displays our dignity, our strength, and our endurance. While most people are divided between "beer bong" and "Optimus Prime," we've overlooked this masterful candidate.


Move over, bald eagle.

My Life Without Pocket Protectors

I remember days when there was nothing to do but watch TV in the mornings, and I preferred to watch syndicated episodes of Head of the Class. I don't remember what was enjoyable about the show; I just remember the nerdy kid who got made fun of for having a pocket protector and a calculator. His name was Arvid, and he looked like this:



I also remember becoming a lifetime fan of Howard Hesseman because of this show. That's right, I said I'm a lifetime fan of Howard Hesseman.

Dinosaurs

Dan (my brother) and I always seem to have hilarious conversations. Yesterday at the Galleria, he stopped me outside a store to watch something on the store televisions. When we stopped, the only thing on the TV was a bunch of trees. The following hilarious conversation ensued.

Dinosaur walks onto television screen
BEN: Is that a dinosaur?
DAN: (pause) Yep.
BEN: (pause) Why did you show me this?
DAN: Are you kidding?

The Interview

The straightforward, unfunny explanation of what happened between the hours of 10 and 12 on 7/11.

The interview was almost exactly the same as any other interview. Questions included stuff like, "tell us about a frustrating experience and how you dealt with it" and "what's one successful leadership experience you've had" and so on. There were a few questions about what I might have concerns about in terms of being in a foreign country/culture and different customs, but I didn't have any concerns, so that was kind of boring.

Then they took my fingerprints, so I had red junk all over my fingers all day.


The big updates: where I will be and what I will be doing.

The where is not resolved at all. He only said that the teaching English programs are mostly in Eastern Europe and Asia, so those are likely options.

The what is similarly unresolved. Though I went into it expecting that I'd be teaching English, the interview kind of made it clear that I'd be just as good--if not better--for the community development program. So I have to decide between those two and get back to the Peace Corps guy at the end of the week. And right now, I have no idea.

Exhaustion

This morning I woke up and I could hardly move. My arms--both of them--were completely sore from tubing two days earlier. My back was completely sore for some unfathomable reason. Probably because I slept on a comfortable bed after sleeping on the floor for two days. Then I get to work only to find out that I have to work harder than ever before for the entire day. I did the math with a coworker, and we fiugred we had the equivalent of 5 people doing the work that 15 people are supposed to do. So I answered calls all day. It went something like this:

"Cigna Behavioral Health EAP message center, this is Ben, how can I help you? ... Well, actually I'm just the message center right now, so I can take your information and have someone call you back in less than an hour."

I said that nearly 50 times, perhaps more.


It's funny how that kind of stuff messes with my mind. It seems that I'm only inanely funny when nothing's going on. When days like this happen, I'm stuck in stupid reality. So here's what's going on in reality.

1. Just got back from Will's cabin in the mediocre state of South Dakota. The trip, unlike the state, was awesome. I got to experience Will gyrating, I got to hear "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" sung louder than I thought songs could be sung, and I got to partake in my first frisbee session in months. Some other great stuff happened too, but it's more important and serious, so you probably won't hear about it til I hit Retirement Town.

2. I have my Peace Corps interview tomorrow. If you don't have anything to pray for, you could pray for that. I'm not too nervous, but I'm worried that I will be nervous, and that's making me nervous. Dead serious. At least I took the day off for it and won't have to deal with answering calls.

It kinda sucks that real life has only two plot points. But I guess it's better than having too many.

Beauty Is Subjective

Here's how I know that a person's beauty is on the inside, not the outside.

I was grocery shopping today, and I saw this magically beautiful woman: long, red, wavy hair, shapely, etc. Passed her a couple of times, and there was no denying it. But then, as I leave the grocery store, I saw her driving by taking hits off a can of whipped cream. And struggling with it too, like the whipped cream wouldn't come out like she wanted.

Granted, I can't judge if she was chugging Readi-Whip because of an inner self-loathing or because she thinks it's cool. I don't think I care. And it's not like I expect a certain etiquette in women I see driving out of the grocery store. It's just that this girl's outer beauty was not consistent with the inside because the inside was full of whipped cream and high on whatever gas they put in those cannisters.

Also, she might live in my building. I'm pretty sure I saw the same car in my parking lot.

The First Time I Didn't See Fireworks

July 4th, 2006 is the first July 4th I saw no fireworks. I realized this year what I've almost realized many years before: I don't really like fireworks. So around 8:30, I decided I would not watch the fireworks this year, and it was good. I hope you all enjoyed your fireworks. I know I enjoyed my episode of Six Feet Under followed by sleep.

A Big Deal

OK, guys. Big news. I have received two free American Express magnets--TWO--in two weeks. How awesome is that? At this rate, my refrigerator will be covered in magnets before the year is out.

Hey America

Has anyone ever noticed that July 4th is about as bastardized as Christmas? We turned a meaningful holiday into a celebration of fireworks and beer. Is that really what our independence is about? We should be going around exercising our right to free speech, carrying firearms, and kicking military personnel out of our homes. We should visit the representation that justifies our taxation, or, failing that, we should be throwing boxes of tea into the nearest ocean, lake or water-containing place. We should be playing piccolos and snare drums and marching with three-cornered hats. Most importantly, though, we should watch 1776, the most moving presentation of the dreams of our founding fathers (in musical form).

Here's to you Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, George Washington, Cesar Rodney, and so on. Without you, we'd be slightly more likely to have British accents. Cheers.

Peach vs. Nectarine

Will someone please explain to me what the difference between these fruits is? I'm about to get back into the fresh fruit industry, and I want to know what I'm getting into. I like nectarines, and I like peaches, but I can't differentiate. Ah, fresh fruit despair. Maybe I'll just end up with a bowl full of raisins.