I have at last joined the ranks of the blogging elite. As a member of this self-appointed ruling class, I must take it upon myself to defend my luxurious lifestyle and criticize the faults of everyone beneath me.
Criticism #1: This isn't the tea I asked for.
Didn't I ask for fresh Chinese jasmine? This is Mongolian green! You're fired, Jeeves. No, you and your whole family are fired. No, wait a second. Wait here, Jeeves. Anderson, have Jeeves and his family executed.
Criticism #2: Your friends are boorish.
Who invited these...these peasants? Drinking their soup out of the bowl? Eating with their hands? This is why I let the population starve.
Criticism #3: The effort to annex France is not going as planned.
I told you to come at them from the south! They expected us to come from the east! They're always attacked from the east! Colonel, why did you enlist in the Blogulution army? To serve your country, yes? How would you feel if you failed your country? Yes, well, you'll be feeling quite worse after I sell you to the Chinese for tea. Guards!
Criticism #4: My castle is drafty.
Somebody tell the wind to desist immediately or I will be forced to take military action. And you! What did I tell you about the weatherstripping? Yes, well, too bad. Bring me some tea and then we'll have you executed. Thank you!
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1 comment:
I posted a blog, correction, two blogs about my dream last night. It's one of the strangest dreams I have ever had. I also remember everything very well, usually its just kind of a haze.
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