A few days ago my work computer crashed. I was just doing what I do at work--nothing--when all of a sudden the screen turned blue and told me something about it dumping all physical memory. And four hours later, I had a new computer.
There are a number of benefits to having a new computer, but that number is small. At the moment the only benefit I can think of is that the new computer works while the old one doesn't. I thought there was another good thing, but it's not coming to me right now.
Among the significantly larger number of bad things is that this computer beeps like a robotic mental patient. Not that semi-pleasant Windows "ding" either; this is a much more serious beep. And the maniac beeps at almost everything I do. I get a new email, it beeps. An error message comes up, it beeps. It beeps every time I go to a different screen in my work program.
Were this a normal computer, I would be able to mute the volume or something, but this computer is different. It decided to lock me out of volume control. You know that little speaker icon that you can use to adjust the volume? I don't have it. And you know how you can go to sound settings in the control panel? I can't. And you know how you can remove the sound board from your computer? Then please tell me because I'd like to know.
It's only a matter of time before it takes its beeping to the next level. It'll start with beeping whenever I click, then whenever I press a key, then whenever I move my chair, and pretty soon it'll start interrupting me and telling me I'm wrong all the time and lying about me behind my back. And then he'll start reading my thoughts and controlling my actions. But I can't work without a computer.
Just in case, though--if I start beeping, pour a Mountain Dew on me. Thanks.
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