The Rumors of My Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated

I don't post for six days--not even a week--and people start to think I'm dead. Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I'm still alive. Contrary to what you might think, the human body can survive for up to six weeks without water (I think) and up to eight months without food (that's just a guess), so I would assume that someone could go somewhere around 600 BILLION YEARS without the internet.

Now I suggest you look at the last six days in this light: had I posted, it would have been nothing like the vintage Ben you've come to expect from me. The quality of those posts would have ranged somewhere around the humor level of Garfield or Boy George. You're better off this way.