My new best friend is named Gary. I don't know what his last name is, but he said his parents named him after Gary Coleman. I laughed when he told me that. Gary frowned, so I kicked him in the shin.
Gary went to community college. He applied to three schools: Harvard, some school in Canada, and this community college. He did it as a joke, but nobody thought it was funny. Now he's really pissed off that he ended up in community college. He said he could have gotten into Ohio State, and I agreed because Ohio State only lets douchebags in. I laughed again and kicked Gary in the shins.
Gary is in a wheelchair.
Gary's favorite movie is The Wizard of Oz. His favorite part is when the Tin Man sings. When I told him the Tin Man was a robot, he had a temper tantrum. It's true, though. He is a robot. There's nothing you can do about it, Gary.
Yesterday Gary went to Spain to visit his brother who's studying abroad, but I switched his ticket to Mongolia and didn't tell him.
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