Busyness

Most of you think I do nothing at my job, and while that's true almost all the time, yesterday was very busy. Let me explain.

One of the other companies in my building is called Animal Experiment Laboratories. I have no idea what they do, but one of their blue monkeys escaped yesterday, and everything went crazy. They closed down our office, but instead of sending us home, they gave every employee a tranquilizer gun and said we had to hunt the blue monkey until he was secured once again. There wasn't much of a strategy for it, though, so we all pretty much wandered around everywhere hoping we'd see it. A lot of my coworkers got shot, actually. That was kinda funny.

I ended up checking the women's restroom, and I found the blue monkey in one of the stalls. I was about to shoot him when he spoke to me. "Wait!" he said. "Don't shoot! I have some important information they don't want you to know, that's why they sent you after me." I lowered my tranq gun to listen. "The animal experimenters sent me two hundred years into the future two weeks ago," he said, "and there I saw a disturbing vision of what will become of society. It convinced me that I had to destroy the human race." I was shocked. I raised my gun to shoot the blue monkey, but before I could move, the gun was in his hands. He shot me in the thigh. As I passed out, I was just thankful that he hadn't flung poo at me.

When I awoke, I was on a cold table with a bright light shining in my face. My vision gradually came back, and I saw three giant waffles standing above me. The waffles had arms and legs and wore those white gloves like cartoon characters always have. "Syrup," one of them said. Another passed him the syrup, and he started pouring it all over me. I screamed.

Then it was 1, so I went to lunch.

After lunch, the blue monkey called me into his office. He told me I was fired. "You can't fire me," I said. "Yes I can," he said. "I'm your father!" I screamed. Then he told me he was joking. "You're not my father?" I asked. "No, I am your father, but you're not fired."

They gave me a free blanket and let me leave early for the day.