Gobble

Thanksgiving is only two days away, and I'm excited to have the rest of the week off starting tomorrow (because I decided to skip out of work early). There's not a whole lot to get excited about Thanksgiving for otherwise, unless you're a glutton, in which case you probably eat a lot every day and Thanksgiving isn't much different (except for the notably increased amounts of gravy).

While I'm indifferent to the celebration, I'm growing less and less indifferent to the holiday. We have a buttload to be thankful for, people, and that's what this holiday is supposed to be about. It's not about the meal, it's not about family, and it's not even about murdering Indians (though it could technically be about all those things); it's about being thankful.

In that spirit, I present you a few of the things that I am thankful for this year and forever:

1. I am thankful for parentheses and the extra dimension they add to sentences.
2. I am thankful for laughter and how it makes my belly feel warm.
3. I am thankful for ducks because I think they look pretty neat.
4. I am thankful for not having internet or TV so that I waste less time, supposedly.
5. I am thankful for prophetic dreams and that I don't have many of them.
6. I am thankful that I don't own any cats.
7. I am thankful that "gobble" could make for a decent Thanksgiving-time pun.
8. I am thankful that my family will not go around in a circle to share what we're thankful for.
9. I am thankful that I have a job, even though I often can't stand it.
10. I am thankful that we are not at nuclear war with anyone.