Impostor

Once again, I must engage in battle with someone who has stolen my name. This doesn't happen often, as I have an especially rare name, so it's been a while. My battling skills might be a little rusty. Still, I must act and strike down "Ben Robison" before he grows even more powerful.

This has happened only once before with a "Ben Robison" from an amateur basketball league in Akron, Ohio. I destroyed him so thoroughly that his website no longer exists (apparently).

This new impostor presents a much more difficult challenge. He's Mormon.

While I could easily vaporize the previous Ben with my b-ball skillz, I don't know how to handle a Mormon. I can't throw polygamy at him because then he'll reproduce and impostor Bens will overwhelm me. And I can't fight him on his own turf--Utah scares me.

Turns out "Ben" is a tech nerd, so I think all it'll take is for me to out-tech him. And by "out-tech" I mean electrocute. That is, if he ever comes to Minnesota. Cuz like I said, not going to Utah.

NOTE: "Ben" may not in fact be Mormon. His blog is merely hosted by Brigham Young University, which I understand has several non-Mormon players on its basketball team.