Science Lesson

It's finally winter here in Minnesota. The current temperature in my area is 6 degrees Farenheit. While these frigid conditions often inspire fear and sadness in my heart, today they inspired curiosity. For well-respected, degree-holding scienticians like myself, cold weather can be a time for learning as well as bad attidudes and auto trouble.

Lesson #1: When it's cold, things freeze.
When I got in my scientician-approved rocket car this morning, I noticed that my glass bottle of science water was heavier. I tried to pour some of the science water out, but it was stuck. I studied this unusual condition for some time, and I eventually concluded that the water was frozen. Chalk up yet another victory for science.

Lesson #2: Water expands when it's frozen.
I returned to my rocket car several hours later to discover that the glass bottle of science water had cracked in several places. My doors were still locked, which meant that this was not the work of office hooligans. I remembered that I had screwed the top on extra tight before, and that made the answer clear. The science water, astonished at its frozenness, must have tried to escape the bottle. When it discovered that escape out the top was impossible, it must have tried to escape out the sides.

Lesson #3: You cannot science your lunch.
I forgot my lunch today, and I was hungry. I attempted to conjure up a sandwich with the power of science, but I was unable. As I am thoroughly convinced that my scientitious powers are mighty, I concluded that lunch-summoning is beyond the capability of science. Instead, I used the power of science to steal someone else's lunch.