Spine

My back hurts. I guess all those years of leaning sideways instead of standing up straight are catching up to me. Something must be done, and it certainly won't be anything related to posture correction.

I've heard a number of people talk about chiropractors this week, but I don't think I'm ready to take that step. Something about chiropractics doesn't gel with me. I think it's cuz I associate the whole thing with snakes. I've always imagined a chiropractor's office to be full of snakes. Sometimes the chiropractor has snakes for arms, too. There's a reason for that, but I'm not gonna waste our time explaining it.

I've also considered massage therapy, but the thought of being rubbed by hands is incredibly disconcerting to me. I think I'd react a little like Charlton Heston from Planet of the Apes. You know, "Get your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!" I know that's not a really healthy attitude to have, and I should probably get over that, but I'm kinda too busy.

That leaves two solutions that I consider reasonable. One, get attacked by an octopus or squid, or two, spine removal. So if any of you can get your hands on a giant squid, let me know.