How did I know it was a zombie and not just a cannibal or the unpopular one? Obviously, if you're asking that, you don't care about nature very much. If you did, you'd notice the difference between zombies, cannibals, and social outcasts out for revenge. Maybe next time you should read a little National Geographic before you ask a question.
Thankfully there was only one zombie pigeon out there when I arrived, but I'm a little worried about what it'll be like when I leave. There might be hundreds of zombie pigeons just waiting to peck at my tasty living flesh and still-functioning brain. How do you fight off hundreds upon hundreds of zombie pigeons? I better get my hands on a tank or a flamethrower before they're all gone.
And don't think that these zombie pigeons will be limited to Eden Prairie. It won't be long before they reach your workplace and bust through your windows and start to eat your friend's eyeballs. If I were you, I'd punch your friend in the lower back and get out of there while you still can.
Good luck out there.
1 comment:
There are ramped badgers running around downtown today. They don't look like zombies but I cannot say that they are not because I have only seen the bodies of the people they have taken.
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