Argyle makes absolutely no sense to me. None whatsoever. Where did it come from? What is it good for? Why is it fashionable? It's an anomaly of creation. It's almost like it existed before the rest of the universe, like Stonehenge or certain condiments.
Aside from all the obvious frustrations with argyle, here are a few of the things that bother me the most about it: 1) you can't eat it; 2) it only seems to come in the form of sweaters and socks; 3) it doesn't look good on a cape; 4) you can't build anything with it, or if you do, it blows over on windy days; 5) it's not an any country's flag; 6) argyle is impossible to count.
But let's get back to what I mentioned before I did that list--the origins of argyle. I decided to a little research, and since wikipedia has almost nothing to say about argyle, that research was utterly fruitless. I am going to assume that argyle was invented by a Scottish dragon who was trying to come up with a creative variation of backgammon. You can't prove me wrong, so that automatically means that I'm right.
3 comments:
Dear Ben,
Was this dragon named Argyle? I'm wondering why this pattern is named so preposterously.
Sincerely,
Jim
One good use for argyle:
http://squid.us/wp-content/uploads/argyle_squid.jpg
I was into it for a while, have two argyle sweaters, and I like them okay now. But yeah, it's nothing to dancey doodle about.
Dear Jim,
I don't know. I think the Irish swordsman who slayed the dragon was named Argyle. Dragons don't have names.
Ben
Dear Chris,
That squid is amazing. I want one.
Ben
Dear Everyone,
I also own two argyle sweaters, many argyle socks, and I love them all.
Ben
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