Upon my return from the tiny country of El Salvador, I've discovered several things. Not the least of these things is the fact that I am now very tired all the time. I've been at work three days, and in each of them I may or may not have fallen asleep at my desk AND during a meeting.
Last night, I told my roommates that I was having significant problems staying awake, and Corey presented me with some creative solutions. Of course, I spurned them all and came up with my own. For your reading pleasure, here they are!
1. Mustard. I don't really like mustard, but for some reason it made sense to me that drinking two liters of the stuff (instead of water, of course) would give me a huge boost in awakeness. This experiment gets an 8.5 on the not-worth-it scale.
2. Robotic Heart Transplant. I figured if I removed my human heart and replaced it with a superior artificial model, I maybe wouldn't even need to sleep ever. Not that I actually went through with it. Stupid responsible doctors.
3. Jumping off of buildings. Nothing gives me a rush quite like a free fall. If I take a good five-story jump every few hours, I should have no problem staying awake for the whole day. Caution to the wind.
4. Hummingbird Blood. Native American legend says if you drink a creature's blood, you gain its strength. So why not drink the blood of the most energetic creature on the planet? Surprisingly, it did not taste as honey-sweet as I expected.
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2 comments:
I'll have to try the hummingbird blood. I've had some sleeping issues too...the question is, how do you get ahold of the hummingbird?
Do you have to get out your poisonous dart gun and kill 'em off yourself?
Just curious.
p.s. thanks for letting me borrow your book. it was great!
I find that the most effective way to get a hummingbird is with a flamethrower.
P.S.-you're welcome!
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