Pan-Fantastic

Sometimes I wish I could record all the great things that happen to slash around me, but I'm afraid there's no way. There's my deficient memory, constant distractions, the fact that I never have pen nor paper with me, and my shallow attention span or weak attention talent, to name a few. So, in typical Ben fashion, I've decided to personify all these things and make a 15th century morality play about how I make it through my day.

BEN: Well, Lord, today's gonna be a great day. I pray for--
DISTRACTION: Hey, isn't this a delicious bagel?
BEN: Why, yes, Distraction, it most certainly is. How kind of you to point that out.
DISTRACTION: My pleasure, good sir. And look over there, it's a blimp!
BEN: A blimp? I love blimps!
POOR MEMORY: You love what?
BEN: I love...I don't remember.
DISTRACTION: Wow, somebody set off a car alarm!
BEN: I should really be getting to work.
POOR MEMORY: I forget where to go.
BEN: Umm....
LACK OF PEN OR PAPER: Don't look at me.

Upon arrival at work two hours late...

BEN: Wow, that sure was some fun adventure!
POOR MEMORY: What happened?
DISTRACTION: I really have to pee, guys.
ATTENION SPAN: (Yawns)
BEN: I'm pretty sure there's something I was supposed to do when I got here.
DISTRACTION: Hey, this seems like a cool email.
BEN: Haha, that's pretty funny. Maybe I'll post that on my blog.
POOR MEMORY: Where am I?
BEN: Oh right! I'm at work! I shouldn't be blogging.
ATTENTION SPAN: You shouldn't be working either.
DISTRACTION: Can you do crossword puzzles on the internet here?
BEN: You're right, I've worked enough for the day. I think I'll study Spanish.
ATTENTION SPAN: Like you can do that for more than two seconds.
BEN: Sure I can! Just--
DISTRACTION: Is it raining?
BEN: My car windows are open!
POOR MEMORY: When did you get a car?
LACK OF PEN AND PAPER: I forgot to write it down. I'm sorry.
POOR MEMORY: I've never seen you before in my life.
DISTRACTION: It's cold in here. What did you just say?
BEN: Maybe I'll read something.
ATTENTION SPAN: You already tried that.
POOR MEMORY: No he didn't.
ATTENTION SPAN: How do you know?
POOR MEMORY: Umm....
BEN: That was different. That was Spanish.
DISTRACTION: I should get a sombrero.
BEN: That'd be sweet.
DISTRACTION: (Screaming) Wow that airplane is loud!
POOR MEMORY: What's an airplane? I mean, what does loud mean?
ATTENTION SPAN: I'm done.
MY BOSS: You're fired.
BEN: I'm what?
DISTRACTION: FIRE!
POOR MEMORY: You're what?
BEN: Stop, drop, and--
DISTRACTION: I'm gonna catch that squirrel over there! (Runs through window, breaking glass)
MY BOSS: Be out by the end of the day.
BEN: OK.
POOR MEMORY: See you tomorrow!
DISTRACTION: (Off stage) Whoa! A blimp!