The Vogue

The new popular thing is making fun of me at work. It's been going on in subtle form for a little while, thanks in large part to my buddy Steve Pope, but it finally crossed over to the mainstream this week. Mostly it's about my eating habits. Like when we went out for a team dinner and Steve thought it was weird that I sliced up almost my entire steak before eating it. Or when Heidi brought what was left over of her chocolate fountain to our team meeting, and I said it was too early for me to eat chocolate, and she told everyone in the next meeting and everyone laughed. Or how everyone knows I prefer bagels for treat day over donuts because I don't like donuts (though I do like some donuts).

The more I thought about this, though, I realized that it's not a new thing. Let's see if I can document this trend, beginning with the earliest job.

-The Knights of Columbus: I know people made fun of me, but I'm pretty sure we made fun of everyone. I mean, we were 15. Big deal.

-Best Buy: One time my coworker answered the phone as me and proceeded to swear at the person and refuse to help them. I seriously freaked out. Turns out it was a prank. He just pressed the "ring" button or something and wasn't really talking to anyone.

-Challenge Printing: With Christine and people my own age, it was just fun. With the older people, they'd make some sarcastic comments that we wouldn't understand, and I guess that was making fun.

-CD Warehouse: Zero once called Ben Kweller my new favorite band. This is how we made fun of each other at a record store.

-UW Telefund: I didn't really talk to anyone, and I was only there for like two months, so that's that.

-Tutoring 7th graders: The first time the kids saw me in my glasses, they thought I looked like Peter Parker. I said I was Peter Parker's younger brother, so I'm Spider Boy, not Spider Man. And they made fun of me for calling myself a boy. They also made fun of me for not having a girlfriend. And there was the time one of them asked me if I was lesbian.

And that brings us to the present.

People made fun of everybody at all these jobs, and it's not like I feel bad cuz it's funny, it's just that I'm an easy target. So here's to being an easy target. Who's with me? Eh?