They say, "To the victor go the spoils," and I'm not really sure how that applies, but I'm going to be the best man at my friend Dave's wedding! I'm excited, especially because Chad's going to help me out with everything, so I don't have to deal with all the pressure of planning a bachelor party on my own.
But the speech. People seem to think I'd be good at this, but I doubt. People also seem to think I'd be funny, but I doubt that as well. Here are some of the drafts I've been working on:
I've known Dave for about six or seven years now. We met on the cross-country skiing team, and one of my first memories of him was nicknaming one of the skiers "Strap-on." We had a lot of laughs back in those days, but that's all over now that Dave's married!
I can't imagine a better girl for Dave than Beth. Of course, my roommate didn't think so. There were so many times he tried to steal Beth from Dave. That sure was awkward.
It didn't take me long to realize that Dave and Beth were meant to be together. Like the time we went out for Beth's birthday--that's when I knew they were really in love. We were all going to this party when Dave started talking about how he used to have a crush on this one girl from high school, so Beth got really angry and turned around. Dave, the caring guy that he is, followed her to fix the problem, leaving me and my two roommates abandoned on some corner with no idea where this party was. (Turning to the happy couple) Here's to you guys!
7 comments:
That's nice, if you can't hit funny or inspiring, go all out for awkwardness!! Well done, Ben.
i have no idea who dave and beth are, but i would sneak into this wedding just to hear this speech. and i will pay you 5 dollars if you go ahead with it.
See, you'll be fine, Ben. Just write this out and then add to the awkwardness by reading directly from the piece of paper, forming all the words into one, and neglecting even the slightest bit of eye contact.
I can't wait. I'll be the first to clap!
Congratulations, Dave and Beth! Now you're going to see me cry twice at your wedding. I reiterate - congratulations.
Is that the "I like burritos" Dave?
-Dan
Yes, it is Mr. Burritos.
But I'm curious as to who of the many Dans I know would sign as "Dan" (and not Financial Panther) and also know of Dave of his Burritos legacy.
And Chris--you just lost five dollars.
I'm pretty sure it's dan waller, of livejournal fame.
Of all the dans, huh?
Yes, I, Dan Waller, am this "Dan" of whom you speak.
-Dan (Waller, or LQ, or whatever you prefer)
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