Mononucleosis

I don't remember ever feeling so much like mashed potatoes. My brain feels like gravy, though, so we go well together. It's like I'm one giant side-dish. Yuck.

Maybe I have mono. I can hardly conceive of how much that would suck. There would be a great many things I would rather have than mono. I would rather have a dozen mummies in my apartment. Actually, who wouldn't want that? Or, who wouldn't watch a sitcom about that? Nobody, that's who.

I hope the zombies will save me. I'm the one holding the sign that say "Eat My Brains, Please." But for now, I guess I'll party with the mononucleosis bacteria.