Don't Take it From Me, Part 2

(Don't Take it From Me, Part 1)

My pal Murgatroyd just back from being on tour with his band, so I figure I'd give him another shot at the advice column business.

Dear Murgatroyd,
My friends and I put sugar in my mom's gas tank, and she found out. Now I'm grounded for three months. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Nicholas Redfield

Dear Nick,
You should have asked that question before you got caught. My answer would have been, don't get caught. Now you are screwed.
Love,
Murgatroyd

Dear Murgatroyd,
I really like to go to the zoo. The zebras are my favorite. Last time I went to the zoo, I saw a zebra get stuck on top of another zebra. Mommy said that's how they stay warm. Is she right?
Sincerely,
I love zebras

Dear Zebra-lover,
Hahahahaha, that's awesome.
Love,
Murgatroyd

Dear Murgatroyd,
I just got fired from my waitressing job at TGI Fridays. Where should I go get a new job?
Sincerely,
Molly McCutcheon

Dear Molly,
I have worked many places, and the best place to work is the pet shop. You get to play with all the animals, and when you need to shoot your music video, you get to use all the puppies for free! However, you will get fired.
Love,
Murgatroyd

Dear Murgatroyd,
How's the doctorate coming?
Sincerely,
Prof. Edward Plummer

Dear Professor,
I am proposing my dissertation in two weeks. It will be on whether or not penguins can play guitar. I believe they can, and I drew a picture to prove it. I will be the best PhD of all time!
Love,
Murgatroyd