I made it official last night. Called up the Peace Corps office and told them to forget about me. It's over. Now I'm focusing my energies on whatever I decided to stay here for.
It's unfortunate that I didn't call the guy during the day, but I really didn't want to talk to him. He kept calling and harrassing me. "We need your transcripts, Mr. Robison." I'm not gonna answer a kind-natured phone call gently encouraging me to get my documents in on time! Leave me alone!
Yesterday, a coworker and I brainstormed ideas about how I could change my voicemail message on my phone to give the Peace Corps the message. Here are some examples.
"Hi, this is Ben, and I lost my arms and one leg on one of those log-sawing things. Which means I no longer have the physical ability to answer the phone or join the Peace Corps."
"Hi, this is who used to be Ben, but is now Beth. If this is the Peace Corps calling, please send me a new application so I can restart my application process as a female."
"Hi, this is Robert. If this is the Peace Corps, I'm sorry to say that you're a victim of the most awesome prank I've ever pulled. Ben Robison was a fake personality I made up, and I completely lied through every step of the application process. I rule!"
"Hi, this is Ben. If you would like to learn how to traffic women and young children, press 1. If you would like to purchase weapons of mass destruction, press 2. If you are interested in organizing a terrorist attack, press 3. If this is the Peace Corps, please press 4 and I will call you back to discuss the status of my application."
"Hi, this is Ben, and I'm sorry, but I won't be able to return your call for the next few months while I run from the German secret police. But leave a message anyway. Oh--oh crap! [gunshots, German yelling] Oh man! They got me! [German voices] No, let me finish the message. No, please!---"
3 comments:
Bravo, Ben
ciwcm
Ben...I'm going to miss you at small group. Your sense of humor, your style, and the way you compliment my sense of style. Which you haven't done in a while. I'll expect a few compliments on my birthday.
You should have started calling it the "peace corpse", pronouncing corps like how it looks, and then say that you thought it had something to do with bringing peace to dead people.
-LQ
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