Let's Talk About Underwear

I know I told some of you it was Prayer Day, and it still is, but you always gotta make room for underwear even on important days like this. Am I right?

I just noticed that the tag on my underpants says "Classics." What's so classic about underwear? Is it that it's the one consistent mainstay of mankind's wardrobe (though I'd argue for socks)? Is it that they go well with tuxedos and other formal wear? Is it that they were made in ancient Rome?

And another thing. Fruit of the Loom is a very confusing brand name. For the longest time, I was convinced that my underpants were made of fruit. Or that they would always smell like grapes and strawberries. Neither of these things are true, and I am very disappointed.