I Heart Politics

For some reason, I've been reading a lot of political stuff on blogs and in person lately. This confuses me a little because we're not really that close to November yet. But it is pretty hot out, and I suppose it's hard not to babble when you're on the verge of heat stroke.

Normally, I don't like to talk about my political opinions. I have two reasons for this. One is I'm right, and the other is you're wrong. So what's the point? But since some people seem to think they're right, I feel the need to address their complaints.

God gave us the monarchy for a reason and that reason is so we didn't have to vote. He saw the ignorance of the masses and decided something to the effect of, "These people have no idea what's going on, so I'm going to give them a king to smack them in the jaw so they stop yammering like idiots." The monarchy gave us several centuries of peace and good will, completely without the thoughtless mouth-wagging of the mud-besmirched peasants. Good times all around.


And then what happens? America decides they don't want to pay taxes. Well, I'm sorry, idealists and revolutionaries, but everybody has to pay taxes. You'd have been better off drinking that tea. I bet it was good, too. The Motherland makes some great tea. Then the French come along, inspired by America's disdain for luxury food and beverage, and decide to behead their glorious monarchs. And from then on, nothing but chaos.


So here we are in the Twenty-first or Twenty-second century, and we're back to flapping our yaps at leaders because they're the ones who don't know what's going on. Did you ever stop to think that our leaders suck because we elected them? Didn't think so. I say we go back to divine mandate. Like heirs and bloodlines, prophecy, protracted civil wars, and magically bestowed swords.